Today I had one of those days at work that I'm sure we've all had. Something bad happens. Someone gets mad and yells. You get blamed for things that you're positive are not your fault (I sent you those emails last week Flurger&*# Blug&#*$ and I know you didn't get them because you never read my emails and maybe if you were clear with your expectations in the first place we wouldn't be having this fight that is also not my fault). Deep Breaths. Then you go into your office and plan your excellent revenge that will never happen (note, I am literally slamming the keys on my computer). I will look for a new job where they really appreciate me, you think. Somewhere my work is valued and I don't have to jump through hoops to get paid and I will be so smiley all the time and people will love me for me. I will love going to work everyday and I will never want to leave, and then sometime when I am wildly successful I will schmulzily waltz into my old work - oh hey boss, what's your name again?- and they will miss me like how much I missed cinnamon buns on my no- carb diet. Then you complain to your coworkers, they make you feel better, and you realize that this will never happen and you become a little sad.
(I feel bad for complaining about work, because I know how hard it is to find a job these days. I assure you, I worked hard to get one, and the road was not easy. I will probably look back on this post and be embarrassed, but that's the point of writing it, because a part of me is really pissed right now.)
I spent a lot of time plotting said revenge at work today, and just fuming around my office in general. And then I started wondering if I could have done something to prevent this? Am I really an unpleasant person at work? Was I a big disappointment after that kickass interview a few months ago when I was my best self? Let me walk you through that day. I left my apartment two hours before the interview, and my suit was freshly dry cleaned. I had printed off the job requirements and rehearsed my responses to said requirements. I felt good. I took the red line, and smiled the whole time (if you've ever ridden the red line, you know how much of a challenge this is. One time, a guy pissed on himself, and the urine started running down the length of the train on floor. Even this would not have squished my uber-enthusiastic job-catching aura on this interview day). I stopped at a 7-eleven and tried to buy a lint roller. Finding none, I borrowed their scotch tape and taped myself clean of cat hair. I got to the office early, and chewed some gum, and can I just say I nailed it? I walked away and wanted to call Bill Gates and pitch him some ideas, just because! I could've nailed that too!
Scan to present day where I seem unhappy, ungrateful, tired, and on the defensive. WHAT HAPPENED?
Really, I know it's going to be ok. I came home, played with my cat for thirty minutes (she's amazing and if you hate cats, she can convert you) and had some chocolate. Bad days happen. But really what I'm wondering from all of this is how many of us out there in the working world are truly our best selves at work? Our best personal selves, complimenting those who deserve it and letting things slide, giving others the benefit of the doubt. Our best work selves, efficiently going through emails and responding immediately, avoiding facebook and pinterest. And does this have a direct relationship with how happy we are at the office?
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